Get busy being, not comparing

​Anyone else ever look at social media posts and feel bad about themselves? 
 
There are so many things that we can admire in someone else and at the same time resent that we don’t have and hence feel like we are less than. That person who is prettier, fitter, with a smaller waist and whiter teeth and fewer this and more that.
 
A few months ago I was surprised to find myself feeling bad when I came across the profile of a women while reading a post of a mutual friend. It's annoying to see a far more beautiful, far more thin and muscular woman with perfect hair and make up doing perfect things in a perfect photo shoot.

Hell, I’ve BEEN that woman and I can’t compare to her and I am the same person! She dieted like CRAZY for months, was dehydrated, spray tanned, professionally lit and edited. It’s certainly not how I look when I’m working out, or ever. And that low percentage of body fat, if attained through extreme measures, only lasts for a few days. Long enough for the body building competition or photo shoot. 
 
I LOVE this photo. The energy exemplifies everything I strive to be. But it was taken many years ago I look much older now. I had been guided part time and harshly by a coach who convinced me anything other than this extreme level of leanness was not worth shooting. I suffered greatly for months in my ignorance, stopped getting my period, and in this shot my calf was seizing. If I were to take a picture of myself right now and compare it to this shot, well, it would be very easy to feel horrible about how I currently look.
 
Seeing others looking amazing is aspirational and can even be motivating. But at the same time it can rob us of appreciating ourselves. So where is the value? How do we use what we see as inspirational and not compare ourselves and feel like shit?
 
We have control over our perspective. In my experience, if we shift our focus to what we are doing, how we feel when we exercise, eat well, rest, and do all the things that contribute to our well being, there will be less room for thoughts of comparison. If we are devoted to the DOING there is neither time nor space for judgement and comparison. We are too busy living full, active lives and pursuing the goals that are meaningful to us. 
 
Focus on learning new movement skills, develop new ways of expressing yourself physically, set a goal, hire a coach, and work towards that specific thing if for no other reason that it will keep you preoccupied with what matters, which are the daily actions that yes, will yield physical results that will make you look better, healthier, and stronger, but more importantly, will make you feel better, healthier, and stronger.
 
Being human. To be. To exist, live. These are action words. Action implies motion, constant change. Focus on the being, the doing, the ever shifting nature of life, your life. Not a snap shot. 
 
Stay fluid and focused on what matters. And what really matters is how you feel and think about yourself and what you do when no one else is looking.
 
Expressive Strength
 
photo by David Leyes